don't turn back time
by Lilli89
Summary: After being shot by Charlie Purglise Erin has to face the nightmares of her past…


Everything belongs to my imagination. I don't own CPD.

It would be great to hear from you :)

**CPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPD**

"It's my fault. I should have never let Charlie getting into her life again", Halstead tiredly reached for a cup of water from the dispender, before he returned to Severide and Voight who already waited in the visitors area for further news.

With Erin still being treated in the intensive care unit, the situation seemed more critical than ever. After being shot and taken as a hostage by Charlie Puglise her life was in danger. Even Voight who had to perform CPR on her looked more horrible than a double of night shifts.

He had gone through a lot enduring his entire life, but nothing could be compared with seeing his daughter lying badly injured on the street, while his screams mixed up with the laughter of the shooter.

Sitting next to each other, the three spent hours fighting with their own fears and thoughts, each worried for Erin in his special way.

"I don't know what he is talking about, but I'm ready to kill this son of a bitch. Whoever did that to her", Kelly shouted clenching his fists.

"How in god's sake did Erin got in touch with this bastard?", he muffled with fighting the tears, who already amassed in his eyes, but Hank just shook his head.

"You don't want to know, long story."

"He's someone she got to know in her teenage years", Halstead added, getting a serious glance from Voight, who didn't like anyone to know about it.

"Erin told you that?", he wanted to know from Jay, who shrugged his shoulder, guilty glancing at his boss.

"Yeah, we had a conversation couple of weeks before."

"Waite, what's the deal? You want to say that you know more than me", Severide wondered, not getting any answer because the doctor entered the waiting area.

"Any relatives of Mrs. Lindsay?", he asked irritated by the appearance of three men, which obviously shared the same concern.

"Hank Voight CPD. She's my daughter."

"Yeah, but I'm her boyfriend. Kelly Severide", he showed his badge, before Halstead was able to speak.

"She's my partner. We're working together."

Overwhelmed the doctor estimated the crowd.

"Actually we only allow one at a time. But before I have to argue with two cops and a firemen please come in and…"

The situation was disturbed by Severides radio.

"Sorry, I'm still on duty-"

"Seems like you get a call", Halstead insisted when Kelly sighed.

"Yeah, I gotta go. I will be right back after I return from the scene. Can you tell her I was here?"

Voight nodded in concern, before Kelly left the hospital for his crew, when Hank and Jay walked into the intensive care unit.

"She's still in a critical condition. We monitor her closely but she's not out of the woods yet", Doctor Lane pointed to Erin who was lying in bed, being monitored by several machines, still unconscious.

"Go home, Halstead. I will take it from here", Voight whispered but didn't get the expected reaction from Jay.

"Sorry Sarge. There is no way I'm leaving."

Voight glanced at Halstead with an angry expression, but didn't flinch.

He just grabbed a chair and pulled him on the right side, what Halstead repeated with the left.

"When did Lindsay tell you about Purglese?"

He became quiet, still not knowing if he should answer but after a while he decided to give an answer.

"A few weeks ago we had a conversation about her past. I should have known better, didn't like Purglese from the first day I've seen him."

"Don't put it on you, doesn't make any sense at all ", Hank encouraged Halstead, when their eyes meet each other, as they watched Erin sleeping. Her skin looked pale, while her face was covered with wounds and stitches.

A bandage was visible through her hospital gown.

No one moved until Voight reached for her cold hand, putting it in his own.

"If she doesn't wake up I'm gonna kill those bastard with my bare hands", Halstead whispered, getting a gesticulation from Voight.

"No, you won't. At least not alone, we would share it", Hank grinned gently stroking Lindsays palm, before he looked at her again.

He didn't cry. He never cried tears, but viewing Erin in this hospital bed just put a lump in his throat.

He had never seen her that fragile, even not when she tried to get clean at the age of 15.

"Erin said that you turned her in, so she got a second chance", Halstead tried to begin a conversation, leading Voight to let go of her hand. Normally he didn't like to talk about this issue, but now things look different.

"Yeah, that's right. She had a hard live with her parents and I just felt that she's a good kid. That's how it started."

"She's still grateful for that. That's what she told me, last time she talked about her past."

"I never understood what she liked on this guy but today it looks more obvious, than 14 years ago. She depended on him. Not with the drugs, with the dope. Just at a material way. Purglese put food on the table. He brought the money in. She never had a choice. It was all about survival."

"At the time you got to know her, when she was around 15…Was she even that sassy as now?"

Voights grimace changed into a devilish impression. He smiled weakly, but amused.

"Never mess with Erin Lindsay. That's what I've learned at an early stage, just when she was a teenager. You don't wanna know how many hearts she broke, especially during her high school years, later when she went to the academy."

"But she has a great personality", Jay admitted sadly when Voight nodded with an even more unhappy impression, gently squeezing Erins hand.

"That's what she owns."

There was a long moment of silence, just the beeping of the machine filled the room.

"While we're on it… what about this firemen, Kelly Severide? Are they dating?"

Jay shrugged his shoulders.

"Sorry, Sarge. I have no idea", he lied.

"Anyway, it's the first guy I even like."

He stood up, pointing at the hall.

"I'm gonna get some coffee, anyone else?"

"If you don't mind."

Voight left Halstead, who was still sitting on her bedside and gently took Erins hand, shortly after Hank disappeared.

"Come on, Lindsay. Not like this" , he stroked the skin of her palm, still watching her concerned.

"We count on you, Erin. I owe you something. Should have been me, not you", Halstead admitted, a shaky tone in his voice.

He watched his partner, his eyes widened open when he recognized the movement of her hand.

"Erin…"

He squeezed it, watched how her lids slowly starting to fidge.

"You've got to sing karaoke on my next birthday party", she whispered weakly, creating a smile on Halsteads face.

"God, I'm so glad to have you back."

First they smiled at each other, before Lindsay became more serious, finally fighting tears.

Her lips started shaking. She did a bad job holding it back.

Jay continued stroking cycles around her hand, gently wiped the upcoming tears from her face.

"Hey, we gonna find him. Don't worry. He won't get out of Illinois."

She sniffled loudly, reaching for Halsteads hand. The warm grip of his skin seemed comforting to her.

She enjoyed the minutes of silence and closeness, but had to let go, noticing Voight who walked into the room, carrying two mugs of coffee with him.

"Look, who made it back to life", Jay joked taking the coffee who was handled to him by Voight. Hank took place on his old seat, carefully touched her hair.

"How are you feeling kiddo?"

"Like I failed?"

"No, you didn't", Voight answered, holding her hand. She didn't look him in the eyes, just concentrated on the wall.

"Listen, kid. None of us can change what happened in the past. But what you did was right. If I blame anyone for failing then it's me."

Erin shrugged her shoulders, continuing with an unsteady voice.

" I don't know. Maybe I should have never answering his calls. It just feels like everything is coming back to me", she cried mute, being watched by two concerned men, while she felt Voights hand stroking her back.

"Just focus on being healthy again. That's most important right now, Kid. Get well, all right?", he stroked her forehead, still looking at her concerned.

"You're gonna be okay."

He stood up, nodding.

"Halstead, you stay with her. I'm gonna get you some clothes, coming back later."

He already moved to the door, but stopping when he got another thought.

"Waite, I nearly forget…Many greetings from your firemen, Kelly Severide. He was waiting with us, but had to go on a call", he twinkled before he left for the station…


End file.
